I’ve decided that it’s actively rude to bring your kids to a wedding! Argh!!! Feel free to change my view
I’m probably being completely unfair here, but i’m stressed and have decided to voice my unpopular opinion. I have decided that even if somebody’s wedding isn’t specifically a “child-free” wedding, parents should still try their hardest to leave the kids at home/with a babysitter/family member rather than bringing them along. UNLESS it’s a super child-friendly wedding with lots of other kids, activities, etc.
At a regular wedding, I actually can’t see a single reason why it would be fun for anybody to bring your young kids along when 95% of the other guests are adults. As far as I see it, the only benefit of bringing your kids is so that you don’t have to organise a babysitter. There are just a multitude of reasons why bringing your kids will suck for a) the parents, b) the kids, c) the bride and groom, 4) everybody else there.
- Parents have to spend the whole night worrying about their kids, dealing with their behaviour, and keeping an eye on them in general.
- They probably have to leave early so the kids can go to bed.
- They probably can’t drink much, because, kids. Probably can’t dance much because, watching the kids.
- There is great risk of the kids being disruptive during the ceremony, speeches, etc.
- The children will most likely be bored out of their minds.
- The bride and groom have to either make special arrangements for food, or accept paying for meals that fussy kids won’t want to eat.
- Unless there is a “kids table” at dinner, (which in itself would probably be mayhem), you have to subject other child-free people to sitting at a table that includes other people’s annoying kids.
I am in general fine with kids, and we don’t want our wedding to be strictly “child-free” because everybody is having to travel to be there and stay the weekend etc. I wouldn’t want that to be a deal breaker for people that are important to us. But it just surprised me that nobody with kids thought to ask whether we were OK with the kids coming, they just assumed it would be fine. Or that they didn’t even try and work out a way of coming without the kids. Don’t they see that’s it’s just bad news for everybody?
Currently my main concern is tables. I don’t want anybody who has done us the service of leaving their kids at home to have to share with somebody who did bring their kids. It seems unfair. And I feel like it’s also unfair for somebody without kids to have to put up with a bunch of kids at their table. I don’t want a designated “kids table” because it would be chaotic, and the kids aren’t quite old enough to sort foody stuff out themselves (i’m talking like, 4 year olds). I feel like I have to put all the families with kids together, even though that may end up as a table of only 4 adults and like 8 kids. Its the only solution I can think of.